Blinded by judgement

 I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him.

Galileo Galilei

When I judge another I close off lines of communication with that person. I reduce our ability to learn from each other and thus to grow. The more I judge the more I turn my sight inward, reducing what I can perceive of the world around me.

The more I learn from another the closer I come to having some understanding of that person. I can never fully understand another, as I have not experienced what they have. That difference in experience gives each of us a different perspective. By comparing our perspectives we can move closer to understanding.

The Blind Men and the Elephant

Lately I keep coming back to the parable of The Blind Men and the Elephant.

This morning I remembered an assignment from a teacher; "Describe a safety pin to an alien with no understanding of our culture". I did not come close, even to myself, and I tried! How would I answer the question now? I started by listing the elements, iron and nickel, to go into a safety pin. Once those elements have been combined they are then extruded into a wire. And there I paused. Would the alien know what extruded meant? Come to think of it, would the alien's knowledge give them understanding of what iron and nickel is? Hmmm. For me to describe a safety pin I must first have an understanding of what the alien knows and their view the world.

And up pops the parable of the The Blind Men and the Elephant, again!

As a computer programmer I adjust my vocabulary and level of detail based on the technical level of the participants in a discussion. Adjusting to their view. As I hope they adjust to mine.

For me to work with you I must first stop and listen to you.

Sower

I'm reading through Nadia Bolz-Weber's sermon for today "The Joy of God's Wastefulness" where she is talking about the sower and a memory pops into my head.

On our honeymoon in I believe was New Hampshire Kate and I took a tour in climax forest. Partway through the tour we came up to a huge rock sticking 8-10 feet out of the forest floor with an 8-10 foot circumference. There in the middle of the rock's top was an old tree, its roots gripping the rock as they reached into the ground. This tree's seed fell on rocky ground but succeeded anyway.

I have often thought that the most robust plants in my yard were the ones growing in the paths.

The sower's seed may fall on ground not suited for growth. But, some will grow, survive and nurture those that follow.

Learned something today

It just dawned on me that the purpose of confession is to take responsibility for your actions and inaction. Growing up Roman Catholic I hated confession as I perceived the confessional as a place to hand the priest my litany of sins to use as ammunition in judging me.

The important part is acknowledging to yourself the sin; much like alcoholics must first acknowledge they are alcoholics. We cannot grow if we do not take responsibility for our shortcomings, all of them. The more shortcomings we acknowledge the better we grow. Those that we do not see or refuse to acknowledge hold us back.

In order to grow we must continue to ask questions and study. Only in that way can we discover  what we do not know. But be forewarned "The more I learn, the less I know".

Differences

You are different from me,
in form, identity, and spirit.

We are equal,
but different.
Comparing is judging.

I do not understand you.
I can not understand you.
Your story is not mine.
Your story affects your form.
Your story teaches
in glimmerings,
should I listen.

You are not me.
Your needs are different.
Tell your story,
helping me to grow
in helping you to grow.

Together we become more.

God knows

God created us to have free will. But God can't just give us free will. We have to choose to have free will. The object of the choice was the Tree of Knowledge. Our partaking of the fruit of that tree was our declaring that we wanted free will. We cannot have free will unless we choose to have it.

The sin in the Garden of Eden was in our answer to God's question "Did you eat of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge?" God knew the answer as God always knows the answer of any question asked. God asks a question to allow us to choose the answer.

Colored only

I sit down to write and become paralyzed because there is so much fear, pain, and grief to address. What can I say that has not been said? How can I help assuage some of that distress? Will a shovel full of soil help you climb out of that deep, dark well of despair?

Here goes with my meandering ramblings.

When I was 6 or 7, around 1955, we were living in Fayetteville, NC. One hot summer day our family went downtown to a department store. My parents were talking with a salesman about something and I became thirsty. Looking around I spotted a water fountain and started toward it. There was line at the fountain. Not having learned patience I looked for another and found on with no one using it. So I got my drink of water from that clean fountain. As I returned to my parents the manager, I think, came up and informed my parents that I had illegally drunk from the Colored water fountain and that we must leave. Being Irish American from the Boston, MA area I had no idea what the fuss was about. My parents had to explain it to me.

That incident has stuck with me through the years. I continue to learn from it. Some of the lessons are:

• My memory says that the manage that ushered us from the store was afraid. A six year old ignorant boy threatened his existence. I could be wrong. Maybe it was anger, but then fear and anger are closely related.
• Looking back I have realized that people of color were not allowed in the store. But the store had to have a water fountain designated for the disallowed customers. And maintain it; it was clean and in fine working order.
• The draconian cultural norms that attempted to strip dignity from people of color also stripped the creators of those norms. While trying to continue slavery they had descended into slavery themselves.

We left the store and never returned. My father was angry even though, as my mother always told me, he was prejudiced. My parents explained honestly.

Are Black Men Lazy?

For most of my life I have heard that black men are lazy layabouts. That is not what I have seen.

Part of the story of people of color is that black men were systematically barred from entry to the labor market. Only black women were hired and then at slave wages.

Eventually the government came to the rescue and introduced welfare. The catch was that welfare was not available if there was a husband around. He should get a job and support his family. But they would not hire him. Or if they did it was at wages too low to support a family but too high to qualify for subsistence. So the men had to leave for their families to have food and shelter.

Carefully taught

We are taught early to judge by comparing one another. "Why can't you be like ...?" A couple of years ago at my uncles funeral we got on the subject that southern people are different. My aunt asked me if they are worse than us northerners. My response was they are different, neither better or worse.

Too much of our faith culture teaches us that we are flawed; unredeemable sinners. God, Allah, Culture, Society, ... has limited space for accepting us. Marcus J. Borg in "The God We Never Knew" likens this image of our God as the Judge, Jury, and Executioner.

We live in fear that we have already been judged and dismissed. We attempt to move back to acceptance by comparing ourselves to others showing why we are less contemptible than them. We are being hunted by a lion and as long as we are faster the lion will destroy the other. At our core we know this is wrong and our self image degrades increasing our fear which feeds our anger and despondency. We loose sight of the beauty of our brothers and sisters when we strive to elevate ourselves, or give up.

Under all this sound and fury is the second face of God that Marcus Borg presents. A God with an infinite capacity to love and accept. We are not here to be keepers of our neighbors. We are here to serve our neighbors to help them become more than they are. Just as God tells us we are more than we believe we are.