I graduated from high school in June of 1966. I was 18. My father was in Thailand at the time so he missed my graduation.
He made it home a couple of months later after being retired from the Army on the west coast. He was lost.
Before leaving for Thailand he had started telling me he would be dead before he was 50. He again repeated it after getting back. I think he was more terrified of growing old than of dying.
He died in April1967 at 46 from a heart attack. It was two months shy of my parents 20th anniversary. Dad was in Germany when he died. He had finagled an assignment as a civilian advisor in Germany. My mother, sisters, and brother were excited about following him back there once Billy graduated in June. About the same Konrad Adenaur, the first post-war Chancellor of Germany, died. It took a while to get his body back to the states as Germany went into mourning. I dropped out of college the day he died.
The company my father was working for took care of all the expenses of bringing him back and the funeral.
The neighborhood came to my mother and told her that they would provide the after funeral meal and she did not have to worry about anything.
My mother contacted my fathers best friend Mac when she told him that Bill had died his immediate response was "I'll be there in the morning". He drove from Massachusetts to Virginia and was there in the morning. When my mother said that when was coming home Mac told her that we could all stay with him for as long as it took to find a place, and we did and he did.
My mother asked my father's uncle Allen Murray a retired Catholic priest to do his funeral service at Arlington National Cemetery. She then asked the monsignor of the local Catholic church if he could put up my great uncle. It turns out that this priest had been a seminary classmate of my father and had had Father Murray as a teacher and greatly respected him. He was thrilled to be able to spend time with Father Murray.
My high school girlfriend even came down from Michigan.
Dad rode the horse drawn caisson to the chapel and the grave site. I don't remember much of the service other than my grand-uncle doing the service. He considered it to be a blessing to be able to do it and was gratified that my mother asked. I did not notice much until after the graveside service. I was thinking there were not many people there until I turned around and saw at least 50 people at the grave site. It was the last time I cried, and I bawled.
You could say that I lost my father then. In my mind I had lost him long before. While in Germany the first time both my parents started drinking heavily. There was not much to do on a base a quarter by a half mile in size and there was no television. My parents started spending evenings at the officers club.
The drinking continued as we returned to the states and for my father gradually got worse. When he got back from Thailand he was in a major state of depression and he had pretty much given up. I remember one morning reaching into the cupboard to get a bowl of cereal and knocking over a tall glass of bourbon and water. He was already drunk. I asked him why and his answer was "Because it is easier".
I think I was more angry at his giving up that the drinking. It took a long time for me to forgive him. Once I did I could start to see the hard life he had had.
My father was naturally left handed but was forced to be right handed. He went to parochial school and every time he used his left hand it was smacked with a bamboo rod that was sliced (a rattan I think).
From his stories I think he was a juvenile delinquent.
As the second son of an Irish Catholic he was forced into seminary. He did not last a year.
He was a see-bee during WW II and saw a lot of fighting. Early in the war he was setting up a machine gun nest with a childhood friend. Once it was setup he reported back to HQ that it was set. When he got back a grenade had been thrown into the nest and the only person alive was his friend, whose last words were "It's your fault Stan!" He was scheduled to be in the first wave to invade Japan and was in Nagasaki two weeks after the Bomb went off.
He went to South Korea to help with reconstruction. While there he saw a lot of suffering. He was also in an accident that resulted in his being thrown from a jeep and the jeep rolling down the hill to land on top of him. His back was broken and it was hours before he was found (the driver was killed).
When in Thailand a large earth mover rolled down a hill killing one man and leaving another pinned. My father wound up cutting the surviving man out with a welding torch. He had to cut through the man that died. No one else had the stomach to do it.
When his mother died his two brothers fought each other and for years they only communicated through my father, the middle son. It bothered him.
He smoked Camels for most of my life with him.
He also had a bleeding ulcer from as far back as I could remember, until 1961 when 60% of his stomach was removed. He was days away from bleeding to death.
Our parents loved us and wanted us to be happy. We were always welcome. There was no mistreatment that I saw.
Monday, February 22, 2016
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Talking, reading, writting
I spend a lot of time inside my head. I have never been very loquacious.
My parents said that I was a colicky baby until they visited some for a night. Not having anywhere else to put me they put me in the bathtub for the night. Apparently the echoes had an affect, I was quiet from then on.
At nine months I just got up an walked. I did not talk until I was three. For the last couple of years I have wondered if I would be diagnosed as autistic now a days. I do tend toward being overwhelmed in a crowded noisy environment. I seldom talk to myself. I have many times gone for more than 24 hours without a single utterance.
I do not remember learning to read. I do remember spending what seemed like hours standing up while each child in the room read from the McGuffey Reader, "See Dick run." It seems to me that I had finished the book before the second reader finished their page. Nothing happens! One year in the fifth grade during Library Week I read five books in their entirety. Some of the reading was done by opening a book inside the book I was supposed to be reading in class. My fifth grade teacher was pretty understanding when she caught me. She was also the on that read all of "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" by C.S. Lewis to the class. I did not remember the title until my wife re-introduced me to the Narnia Series. I did remember whole swaths of the story. I read voraciously including anything I could get my hands on about dinosaurs and astronomy. My parents subscribed to the "All About" book club.Each month we got a book such as "All About Atoms", I swallowed them whole. During my formative years children were not allowed to check out books from the adult section without a signed note from their parents saying that they were reading at a level high enough to understand. I just walked in and checked out the books I wanted with nary a question. By the time I was twelve I had pretty much abandoned the children's section. In Biology in my sophomore year I read the chapter on Monday and took the test on Friday, usually getting an A. I repeated that pattern for Physics, Mechanics in college, in fact after a couple of weeks I only showed up to class for the Friday tests, I got a reputation for never attending class while acing them. It was only that and one other class that I skipped regularly. I graduated high school with a 2.1 grade point.
I kind of backed into writing with script. I was in the second grade in North Carolina. They taught script in the third grade. During that summer we moved to Massachusetts where they taught script in the second grade. So entering the third grade in Arlington I was expected to do my assignments with script. Again I got an understanding teacher who after talking to my mother created script worksheets for me as homework. I guess you can say that I learned script with self study. I do remember working on those work sheets, practicing each letter over and over. Yes, I had to turn them in to the teacher to show I had done them.
The Arlington, Massachusetts school district at that time offered recorder classes in the third grade. It was voluntary and I volunteered. I recall that my brother Bill did also. He was in the same grade as me since I had been held back in the first grade. I had been in three different schools the first year. Bill was held back later. As I recall I did try to learn to play. After about three or four weeks the teacher contacted my mother telling her that I did not have the talent. I stopped taking recorder. I have since learned that I cannot play. My ear is terrible, I simply cannot hear if I am playing the right note. Holding a rhythm is also an exercise in futility. I think Bill continued. One of the few childhood stories from my mother is that her mother made her take violin lessons for years, even though her teacher kept telling my grandmother that she had no ear or talent.
While I cannot play and sing poorly I do dance. My first public performance of memory was a minuet in assembly in I think the fourth grade. I loved it.
My parents said that I was a colicky baby until they visited some for a night. Not having anywhere else to put me they put me in the bathtub for the night. Apparently the echoes had an affect, I was quiet from then on.
At nine months I just got up an walked. I did not talk until I was three. For the last couple of years I have wondered if I would be diagnosed as autistic now a days. I do tend toward being overwhelmed in a crowded noisy environment. I seldom talk to myself. I have many times gone for more than 24 hours without a single utterance.
I do not remember learning to read. I do remember spending what seemed like hours standing up while each child in the room read from the McGuffey Reader, "See Dick run." It seems to me that I had finished the book before the second reader finished their page. Nothing happens! One year in the fifth grade during Library Week I read five books in their entirety. Some of the reading was done by opening a book inside the book I was supposed to be reading in class. My fifth grade teacher was pretty understanding when she caught me. She was also the on that read all of "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" by C.S. Lewis to the class. I did not remember the title until my wife re-introduced me to the Narnia Series. I did remember whole swaths of the story. I read voraciously including anything I could get my hands on about dinosaurs and astronomy. My parents subscribed to the "All About" book club.Each month we got a book such as "All About Atoms", I swallowed them whole. During my formative years children were not allowed to check out books from the adult section without a signed note from their parents saying that they were reading at a level high enough to understand. I just walked in and checked out the books I wanted with nary a question. By the time I was twelve I had pretty much abandoned the children's section. In Biology in my sophomore year I read the chapter on Monday and took the test on Friday, usually getting an A. I repeated that pattern for Physics, Mechanics in college, in fact after a couple of weeks I only showed up to class for the Friday tests, I got a reputation for never attending class while acing them. It was only that and one other class that I skipped regularly. I graduated high school with a 2.1 grade point.
I kind of backed into writing with script. I was in the second grade in North Carolina. They taught script in the third grade. During that summer we moved to Massachusetts where they taught script in the second grade. So entering the third grade in Arlington I was expected to do my assignments with script. Again I got an understanding teacher who after talking to my mother created script worksheets for me as homework. I guess you can say that I learned script with self study. I do remember working on those work sheets, practicing each letter over and over. Yes, I had to turn them in to the teacher to show I had done them.
The Arlington, Massachusetts school district at that time offered recorder classes in the third grade. It was voluntary and I volunteered. I recall that my brother Bill did also. He was in the same grade as me since I had been held back in the first grade. I had been in three different schools the first year. Bill was held back later. As I recall I did try to learn to play. After about three or four weeks the teacher contacted my mother telling her that I did not have the talent. I stopped taking recorder. I have since learned that I cannot play. My ear is terrible, I simply cannot hear if I am playing the right note. Holding a rhythm is also an exercise in futility. I think Bill continued. One of the few childhood stories from my mother is that her mother made her take violin lessons for years, even though her teacher kept telling my grandmother that she had no ear or talent.
While I cannot play and sing poorly I do dance. My first public performance of memory was a minuet in assembly in I think the fourth grade. I loved it.
Thursday, February 11, 2016
Eleven States
To date I have lived in 11 different states.
I was born in Symmes Hospital in Arlington, Massachusetts. I joined my parents who where living with my dad's family in Malden, Massachusetts.
My father was working a welder in Boston Naval Yard. I believe he got ulcers on his eyes due to the welding gasses, so he had to find another line of work. He approached the Navy about rejoining. He was a Seabee during WWII. The Navy would not give him back his rank. So, he approached the Army who said sure he could have his rank back as soon as he completed Basic Training (Navy Basic did not count). My dad said yes off he went to Basic Training at Fort Dix, New Jersey. About two weeks in the Army realized he knew more that the current drill instructors, so they made him a drill instructor.
My dad was out of Basic Training so mom, Bill, and I moved to New Jersey (My brother Bill is fourteen months younger than I am.) We all moved into a converted chicken coop in New Jersey (My second state.) I do not know the city/town. That house was still occupied in 1968 and looked to be in good shape. My mother took me to see it when we went to visit Bill who was in Basic Training at Fort Dix.
After Fort Dix my dad was given orders for Anchorage, Alaska. He went alone and we dependents moved back in with his parents (I think) until we could join him. He opened Fort Richardson, was the first to raise the colors over the fort. The three of us later took a train across country and flew into Anchorage on the last leg of the trip. Quarters were not ready yet so we rented a 20 by 20 cabin for $90 a month. The outhouse was off to the right and the water pump was off to the left. My first memories are here. We later moved into quarters on base. These where what we would now call town houses, two story apartments in a row. It was here that three of my sisters where born, Maggie, Jean, and Janet. Janet lived for about a month and half. My first memory of my father was when he and my mother came home after Janet died. Jean her twin recently passed and some of her ashes have joined Janet. I count Alaska as one of the states I have lived in even though it was not yet a state when we lived there. We were there during the Korean Conflict.
From Alaska my father was stationed to Fort Belvoir, Virginia, my fourth state. We rented a house in Arlington, Virginia. It was along narrow house. We were not there long and I don't remember ever moving on base.
Next my dad was transferred to to Fort Bragg, North Carolina, number five. We first rented half of a duplex out in Fayetteville, North Carolina. The owners were snow birds and lived in trailer on the property during the summer. Other than the people on the other half the only other visible neighbor was about a quarter of mile away. The raised chickens, we got a lot of eggs and I learned a lot about chickens. Across the road was a watermelon patch. Awhile later we moved on base into quarters in a converted hospital. The hospital was huge with rows of multiple apartment buildings connected by covered, elevated walkways.
Next my father was sent to South Korea on detached duty for a year. I think that is when he got promoted to Warrant Officer. The five of us dependents moved back to Massachusetts. My mother rented a flat in the third story of a multi dwelling house on Orvis Rd in Arlington, Massachusetts. I started third grade that fall.
On his return from Korea my dad was assigned back to Fort Belvoir, Virginia. We rented a house on Randolf Macon Drive in Alexandria, Virginia. After a while we moved on base into an older four apartment building, nestled into the woods. During the winter the coal fired furnace was cleaned and feed on a rotating weekly basis. Bill and I usually took care of the furnace during our week. While there my second brother, Richard, was still born. He is in Arlington National Cemetery along with my father and mother.
In October 1959 we rotated to Germany. My father was stationed at Anderson Barracks along the Rhine River in Germany. This was the first time we immediately moved on base. At first we were temporarily in a two bedroom apartment for a couple of weeks until the three bedroom was available in the officers quarters. Once in the three bedroom we stayed there until we left Germany. During our time there we also visited The Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, and France.
Coming back to the states my parents left us in Arlington and Lexington, Massachusetts while they took a second honeymoon to prepare for us in Fort Wayne, Michigan located inside of Detroit, Michigan. We went to school from October through Christmas in Massachusetts. In January all of us moved to Fort Wayne. For only the second time we moved right onto the base. While there we moved twice into larger quarters. All of the quarter were built in the 1860s. The last duplex were were in had a flying staircase, a butlers pantry, four bedrooms on the second floor, and two bedrooms with a kitchen in the servants quarters on the third floor, where my brother and I had our bedrooms. While there my fourth sister Catherine was born. She lived for 18 hours. Michigan was my sixth state.
From there my father was stationed back to Fort Belvoir, Virginia. He was in the Corps of Engineers and Fort Belvoir was their home base then. We rented a four bedroom house in Fairfax, Virginia. this was a temporary assignment as he was being prepared for a year of detached duty in Thailand. We stayed in the house while he was away in Thailand. Both Bill and I graduated from Fairfax High School. My father was in Thailand when I graduated. He retired from the Army when he returned and died less than a year later.
My mother wanted to go home. After Bill graduated we packed up and moved to a town house in Winchester, Massachusetts. My mother and sisters stayed there until both Maggie and Jean had graduated from high school.
I enlisted in the Air Force not long after we got back to Massachusetts. The Air Force sent me to Lackland Air Force Base in Texas, state number seven. There I lived in an open dorm barracks. I did get into San Antonio, Texas and saw the Alamo. The River Walk has not been built yet.
For Jet Engine Mechanics School I was sent to Chanute Air Force Base near Rantoul, Illinois, number eight. Again open bay barracks. I did get into a four man room.
State number nine is Nellis Air Force Base outside Las Vegas, Nevada. There I was in several barracks with two men rooms. The base became crowded and I moved off base once I became a sergeant. The first was a two bedroom apartment that I shared with another sergeant. Shortly after getting out of the Air Force I moved into a single bedroom apartment where I stayed until I left Nevada.
After a while I returned to Michigan to re-enter college at Lawrence Institute of Technology. I had dropped out when my father died. While in school I rented a room from a local. Then I shared a house with four others. Interestingly one was Indian and another was Pakistani, they actually got along. Finally a two bedroom apartment with a fellow student who left me in the lurch for the last year, after insisting we sign a lease. I got married the day before my graduation from college. She has been my constant room mate for going on forty years now. While together in Michigan we have had an apartment, and two houses.
In 2006 after one child had left the nest we moved to Madison, Wisconsin, state number ten. I move for a job. We just rented an apartment there after having been burned in the housing crisis.
Again because of a job change we moved to Davenport, Iowa leaving behind our youngest daughter. she has since moved back to Michigan. I am now living in the eleventh state.
Our current plans are to move back to Michigan once I retire.
All information here is from memory. My time sense is not all that good but I believe the order is correct.
I was born in Symmes Hospital in Arlington, Massachusetts. I joined my parents who where living with my dad's family in Malden, Massachusetts.
My father was working a welder in Boston Naval Yard. I believe he got ulcers on his eyes due to the welding gasses, so he had to find another line of work. He approached the Navy about rejoining. He was a Seabee during WWII. The Navy would not give him back his rank. So, he approached the Army who said sure he could have his rank back as soon as he completed Basic Training (Navy Basic did not count). My dad said yes off he went to Basic Training at Fort Dix, New Jersey. About two weeks in the Army realized he knew more that the current drill instructors, so they made him a drill instructor.
My dad was out of Basic Training so mom, Bill, and I moved to New Jersey (My brother Bill is fourteen months younger than I am.) We all moved into a converted chicken coop in New Jersey (My second state.) I do not know the city/town. That house was still occupied in 1968 and looked to be in good shape. My mother took me to see it when we went to visit Bill who was in Basic Training at Fort Dix.
After Fort Dix my dad was given orders for Anchorage, Alaska. He went alone and we dependents moved back in with his parents (I think) until we could join him. He opened Fort Richardson, was the first to raise the colors over the fort. The three of us later took a train across country and flew into Anchorage on the last leg of the trip. Quarters were not ready yet so we rented a 20 by 20 cabin for $90 a month. The outhouse was off to the right and the water pump was off to the left. My first memories are here. We later moved into quarters on base. These where what we would now call town houses, two story apartments in a row. It was here that three of my sisters where born, Maggie, Jean, and Janet. Janet lived for about a month and half. My first memory of my father was when he and my mother came home after Janet died. Jean her twin recently passed and some of her ashes have joined Janet. I count Alaska as one of the states I have lived in even though it was not yet a state when we lived there. We were there during the Korean Conflict.
From Alaska my father was stationed to Fort Belvoir, Virginia, my fourth state. We rented a house in Arlington, Virginia. It was along narrow house. We were not there long and I don't remember ever moving on base.
Next my dad was transferred to to Fort Bragg, North Carolina, number five. We first rented half of a duplex out in Fayetteville, North Carolina. The owners were snow birds and lived in trailer on the property during the summer. Other than the people on the other half the only other visible neighbor was about a quarter of mile away. The raised chickens, we got a lot of eggs and I learned a lot about chickens. Across the road was a watermelon patch. Awhile later we moved on base into quarters in a converted hospital. The hospital was huge with rows of multiple apartment buildings connected by covered, elevated walkways.
Next my father was sent to South Korea on detached duty for a year. I think that is when he got promoted to Warrant Officer. The five of us dependents moved back to Massachusetts. My mother rented a flat in the third story of a multi dwelling house on Orvis Rd in Arlington, Massachusetts. I started third grade that fall.
On his return from Korea my dad was assigned back to Fort Belvoir, Virginia. We rented a house on Randolf Macon Drive in Alexandria, Virginia. After a while we moved on base into an older four apartment building, nestled into the woods. During the winter the coal fired furnace was cleaned and feed on a rotating weekly basis. Bill and I usually took care of the furnace during our week. While there my second brother, Richard, was still born. He is in Arlington National Cemetery along with my father and mother.
In October 1959 we rotated to Germany. My father was stationed at Anderson Barracks along the Rhine River in Germany. This was the first time we immediately moved on base. At first we were temporarily in a two bedroom apartment for a couple of weeks until the three bedroom was available in the officers quarters. Once in the three bedroom we stayed there until we left Germany. During our time there we also visited The Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, and France.
Coming back to the states my parents left us in Arlington and Lexington, Massachusetts while they took a second honeymoon to prepare for us in Fort Wayne, Michigan located inside of Detroit, Michigan. We went to school from October through Christmas in Massachusetts. In January all of us moved to Fort Wayne. For only the second time we moved right onto the base. While there we moved twice into larger quarters. All of the quarter were built in the 1860s. The last duplex were were in had a flying staircase, a butlers pantry, four bedrooms on the second floor, and two bedrooms with a kitchen in the servants quarters on the third floor, where my brother and I had our bedrooms. While there my fourth sister Catherine was born. She lived for 18 hours. Michigan was my sixth state.
From there my father was stationed back to Fort Belvoir, Virginia. He was in the Corps of Engineers and Fort Belvoir was their home base then. We rented a four bedroom house in Fairfax, Virginia. this was a temporary assignment as he was being prepared for a year of detached duty in Thailand. We stayed in the house while he was away in Thailand. Both Bill and I graduated from Fairfax High School. My father was in Thailand when I graduated. He retired from the Army when he returned and died less than a year later.
My mother wanted to go home. After Bill graduated we packed up and moved to a town house in Winchester, Massachusetts. My mother and sisters stayed there until both Maggie and Jean had graduated from high school.
I enlisted in the Air Force not long after we got back to Massachusetts. The Air Force sent me to Lackland Air Force Base in Texas, state number seven. There I lived in an open dorm barracks. I did get into San Antonio, Texas and saw the Alamo. The River Walk has not been built yet.
For Jet Engine Mechanics School I was sent to Chanute Air Force Base near Rantoul, Illinois, number eight. Again open bay barracks. I did get into a four man room.
State number nine is Nellis Air Force Base outside Las Vegas, Nevada. There I was in several barracks with two men rooms. The base became crowded and I moved off base once I became a sergeant. The first was a two bedroom apartment that I shared with another sergeant. Shortly after getting out of the Air Force I moved into a single bedroom apartment where I stayed until I left Nevada.
After a while I returned to Michigan to re-enter college at Lawrence Institute of Technology. I had dropped out when my father died. While in school I rented a room from a local. Then I shared a house with four others. Interestingly one was Indian and another was Pakistani, they actually got along. Finally a two bedroom apartment with a fellow student who left me in the lurch for the last year, after insisting we sign a lease. I got married the day before my graduation from college. She has been my constant room mate for going on forty years now. While together in Michigan we have had an apartment, and two houses.
In 2006 after one child had left the nest we moved to Madison, Wisconsin, state number ten. I move for a job. We just rented an apartment there after having been burned in the housing crisis.
Again because of a job change we moved to Davenport, Iowa leaving behind our youngest daughter. she has since moved back to Michigan. I am now living in the eleventh state.
Our current plans are to move back to Michigan once I retire.
All information here is from memory. My time sense is not all that good but I believe the order is correct.
Saturday, February 6, 2016
When I was born I my lungs were full of mucus. I was rushed into an oxygen tent in an attempt to keep me alive. My father was informed that my death was imminent.
My father being the second son of a devout Irish Catholic family knew he had to have me baptized before I died or I would spend eternity in Limbo. He rushed out and found a Catholic priest that had been ordained the day before. The priest agreed and rushed in to baptize me. As he got to the part where he announce my name he realized that he had forgotten to get my name. Being newly ordained he thought he had to continue so he used his name. John!
My parents already had my name picked out. They picked the middle name from my two grandfathers, Sydney James Meserve and Walter Bartlett Stanley.
After I got out of the hospital my parents had me baptized again using the full name they had chosen (No, I am not Bart!). It has been said that when the devil looks at me he sees two crosses on my forehead and thinks he has double vision.
So the start of my life is a funny story. I use this story to remind myself that God has a sense of humor. The twists and turns have kept things fascinating ever since.
My father being the second son of a devout Irish Catholic family knew he had to have me baptized before I died or I would spend eternity in Limbo. He rushed out and found a Catholic priest that had been ordained the day before. The priest agreed and rushed in to baptize me. As he got to the part where he announce my name he realized that he had forgotten to get my name. Being newly ordained he thought he had to continue so he used his name. John!
My parents already had my name picked out. They picked the middle name from my two grandfathers, Sydney James Meserve and Walter Bartlett Stanley.
After I got out of the hospital my parents had me baptized again using the full name they had chosen (No, I am not Bart!). It has been said that when the devil looks at me he sees two crosses on my forehead and thinks he has double vision.
So the start of my life is a funny story. I use this story to remind myself that God has a sense of humor. The twists and turns have kept things fascinating ever since.
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